Fingers Crossed!

A while back, an agent requested a full read of Age of Darkness, contingent upon cutting between 10–30k words. Then cancer struck my family and my priorities shifted. As I focused more on taking care of my mother-in-law and helping my spouse and children through the tragic ordeal, I was able to squeeze time into making cuts. A few months later with 20k words cut, I just sent off my finished manuscript to the agent… Fingers crossed!

There is always the lingering trepidation that accompanies such events—did I dot all my T’s and cross all my eyes? How many times did my fingers type “form” instead of “from”? Great…they’re going to hate it. I’m never getting published! It happens every time put our heart into something, and then put it out there to be judged. Be it a birthday gift, a cooked meal, or an epic fantasy manuscript, it’s easy to nitpick the final product and forget about all the great parts about it. Like the fact that you invested the time to look for a meaningful gift, you didn’t burn the meal, and you wrote some beautifully written and engaging scenes. For writers, we want every line to be perfect and completely unambiguous (unless the ambiguity is purposeful), and sometimes we can find ourselves fretting over the perfect adjective for what seems like days.

That was definitely me this morning.

I’d finished reading through the manuscript yesterday, catching all the missed commas, “form vs from”, and unclosed quotes…or so I thought. Apparently, my eyes had seen what they’d wanted to see just like my fingers had typed what they’d wanted to type, and a pervasive thought roamed my mind: “Great! The agent is going to think you’re a complete idiot!”

But…

I got better!

My better half reminded me, as she was chatting about my book to a friend, that it was filled with some really great aspects and scenes. She also reminded me that there will never be a time when I read through my work and don’t find something I feel I can make better. That’s just how it is with our passions. Those things of the heart.

Now comes the wait…

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